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Four-Step Strategy to Total Surrender

By Catherine Anesi, LCSW, RM

Surrender is simple yet not easy. If only I could bottle it!? We, as humans, like to hold on to our distress, dissatisfaction, hurts, wounds and discomfort. I’m not sure what that is about but that’s exactly what we do. We seem to enjoy stressing out about things that we have no control over. Somehow if we worry about it enough, or play out as many optional outcomes as we can in our heads, or beat ourselves up enough about it and lose enough sleep over it then the problem will be fixed-the hurt will go-the forgiveness will come and all will be well. And sometimes we just love staying in this painful place of limbo. Depression and anxiety may set in and become a way of life. Holding on becomes the norm and letting go feels like a great feat. The hurt and pain become our story. Depression and anxiety live in our bodies through illness and becomes a way of life. So what do you do?

  1. COMMIT: Make a conscious decision to want a healthy lifestyle free of worry, anxiety, unforgiveness and pain and commit to do whatever is necessary to feel better. Sit quietly and ask yourself-your higher self “what is the best first step to take?” and listen. Listen to the soft gentle voice in your being. The voice that offers a positive feeling. You may hear a different voice, one that is more aggressive and loud-your Inner Critic. Your Inner Critic may be telling you that this is nonsense and who are you to be attempting to feel better. Don’t listen to that voice. Listen to the soft gentle kind voice that offers you an idea and it feels good. Don’t worry if it sounds crazy. Commit to taking that step.

  2. DREAM: Make a list of how you would feel and what you would be doing when you were living a life free of worry, anxiety, unforgiveness and pain. Really feel it! Spend at least ten minutes every day feeling into this experience. You will begin to believe it. Once you believe it, it will happen.

  3. BEGIN: Take action on the ONE thing that was offered to you by your higher self to move forward with. Start slow. Slow and steady wins the race. Change can be difficult. Be sure to treat yourself kindly and stick with it.

  4. JOURNAL: With all change, regardless of whether it is good or not, uncomfortable feelings will come up. Do everything in your power to not succumb to these negative feelings. It’s ok. Breathe! Journaling on your feelings and acknowledging them will help them to move through you and not paralyze you.

When you feel that you have been successful on this ONE thing, you will be ready to add another. Slips and slides will happen without a doubt and is not to be equated with not mastering that one thing. Give yourself a break and as long as you are doing that one thing at least 90 to 95 percent of the time you’re good. News flash-you are not perfect, we are not perfect.

You deserve a life of Surrender!

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