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Self-Care Is Not Selfish: Consider Yourself First

By Catherine Anesi, LCSW, RM


One way to step up your self-care game is by being sure to consider yourself first in every

situation. No-this is not selfish. Sometimes it's difficult understanding this concept of self-care. But if you don’t consider yourself first, who will?


Taking the time to think about every decision you make will avoid falling into your habitual responses, particularly if you are looking to change. Are you a yes-man, a no-man, or a maybe-man? Are you the first to say “yes” to others before you know what the request is and then bend over backwards to keep the commitment? Or do you lose out on opportunities because your go to answer is “no”? Imagine actually taking the time to consider each and every request, and thinking about what would work for you best? Hmmmmm, imagine that. The chances of feeling angry and resentful because either you committed to something that may make your life impossible, or that you miss out on a great opportunity, are slim.


I’ll bet you will be more credible to your friends, family, and colleagues if you are able to give a good solid answer after some thought. This will avoid your having to go back with a different answer after you have had time to consider. This is particularly true for the “maybe” non-committal types. You know them-you can’t trust them to follow through so you just avoid asking them for anything, or you don’t believe them if they say yes or offer their services.


And the most important part of considering yourself first in all situations is that you are paying yourself the respect that you truly deserve! Others will respect you and trust you. They will understand that there will be no strings attached when you agree to say yes to what is asked of you.


Consider the following questions and see what comes up for you:

  • What stops you from considering yourself first?

  • Are you worthy of considering yourself first?

  • Are others needs more important than yours?

  • Do you deserve to take care of yourself in this way?

The answers may surprise you!

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